"When darkness veils it's lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace." ~Edward Mote

Lay down this principle as a law-God does nothing arbitrary.  If He takes away your health, for instance, it is because He has some reason for doing so; and this is true of everything you value; and if you have real faith in Him, you will not insist on knowing the reason.  If you find, in the course of daily events, that your self-consecration was not perfect-that is, that your will revolts at His will-do not be discouraged, but fly to your Savior and stay in His presence, till you obtain the spirit in which He cried in His hour of anguish, “Father, if Thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will but Thine be done” (Luke 22:42).  Everytime you do this it will be easier to do it; every such consent to suffer will bring you nearer and nearer to Him; and in this nearness to Him you will find such peace such blessed, sweet peace as will make your life infinitely happy, no matter what may be its mere outside conditions.  Just think, my dear Katy, of the honor and the joy of having your will one with the Divine will and so becoming changed inot Christ’s image from glory to glory!  ~Dr. Cabot to Katy  (Stepping Heavenward, Mrs. E. Prentiss, p. 88).

I actually sat down to write something else.  Something else from this book that I read and I’ve been mulling over, but then when I cracked open the book to re-read what I was going to write about, it fell open to this page and well, the conversations that I had with some lovely ladies came flooding back to me.  In some crazy way, this portion of Dr. Cabot’s letter to Katy was encouraging to me.  Have I told you that I love, love, love the book Stepping Heavenward?  It is seriously, one of the best books I’ve ever read.

Suffering brings us closer to Jesus.  I think that this happens over time.  A long time. I’ve been thinking about this, a lot.  I was talking to Mike the other day, just kind of verbalzing what had been going on in my head.  I was thinking about where I was nearly 5 years ago.  Full of hurt. Pain. Saddness.  Helplessness.  I really thought that it would never end, but now looking back on the last several years, I’m not entirely sure how I got from there to here.  It just sorta happened.  Healing happened.  Is happening.  I can pick out several “turning points”, but not really sure when it happened.  Does that make any sense?

Through our suffering we have been brought closer to Jesus.  Just as He intended.  I don’t think that I really recognized that happening.  A lot of misconceptions were torn down during those years about suffering as a Christian.  About suffering as Jesus suffered.  We learned how growing nearer to Him we found peace in the midst of the darkest time in our life.  We found joy.  Not emotional, fleeting joy, but JOY!  The only joy that Jesus can give.  The joy that remains even in the midst of the yuck. 

Suffering brings us nearer and nearer to Him.  Honestly, I’m grateful for that.  Really grateful for that.  That’s not something that I would’ve said a couple of years ago.  Heck, even a year ago.  But as I think about it, I’m grateful that Jesus has brought us through.  IS bringing us through.  That He’s changed us.  Hopefully He’s receiving the glory, because, well, Jesus has done it (is doing it) not us.   He’s bringing us nearer to Him.  He’s bringing us peace and joy.  The kind that’s unexplainable.  Because He’s doing it, then He gets the glory.  All of it.

A couple of years ago, Tullie started mimicking people.  We’d raise our hand.  She’d raise her hand.  She was trying really hard to copy just about every simple gesture that we would do.  

One night we were sitting at dinner with a friend who popped in from Massachusetts for the evening.  Dinner had just wrapped up and we were still talking at the table.  He had leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head relaxing while we were talking.  A few minutes later we look across the table at Tullie.  She’s sitting in her seat with her hands behind her head listening to our conversation.  We all start laughing, she got embarrassed and gave us her shy, cute smile.

Around that same time she started watching people at church and she would raise her hands during worship when others would.  Mostly just mimicking what she saw.  At the time, I had thought, “That is so sweet!”

But tonight, at church, I was holding Tullie and we were singing, “Amazing Grace”.   She looked me in the eye and started repeating each word she understood. Grace.  Sound.  Meeeee.  She was so intent on wanting to know the song.  I started smiling at her.  She ate it all up!  In the middle of the song and a few songs after that, she’d shoot her hand up in the air, just worshipping.  Tonight, it tugged on my heart and made me feel lucky to have this wonderful, innocent, worshipping little girl in my arms.  And I really think that she was worshipping.  She was pretty intent on it.  Trying to say the words to the songs and putting her hand up when she wanted to, not because of everyone around her. 

I’m thankful to be Tullie’s mom, but tonight I saw Jesus in her and His glory.  Seeing her praise Him.  Tonight I was thrilled to be Tullie’s mom.  Oh, how I love that sweet girl.   She is an amazing asset to our family, and I also hear that she’s a wonderful friend.  Kids LOVE her.  A friend sent me a note tonight that said how Tullie was her daughter’s friend.  And, well, that just warms my heart.  I love that!  I love that our friends see Tullie for Tullie not identifying her as the girl with Down Syndrome. 

Tullie-Wullie,  you are loved!  Your are dearly, dearly loved.

Several years ago, our pastor, Mark Driscoll, was at a conference and shared this list of  the differences between the Gospel and Religion.  It’s been hanging on my fridge for years.  The paper is spotted and crinkly and stained.  I thought I’d share the list, cause well…it’s a good list.

“It’s all about Jesus”

Two enemies of the Gospel are idolatry and religion.

We don’t see restaurants, sports, television, entertainment as idolatry, but sometimes they are. Many times they are.

“If you don’t break the first two commandments, you won’t break the other commandments.”

Everyone worships.  The atheists just worship their mind.  We have a propensity to worship created things rather than God.

Non-Christians are very spiritual.  They worship. They just break the first two commandments.

We worship good things and they become our god things.  The stuff we love can enslave us. There’s only one God, and He alone is to be worshipped.

Where do you run for cover? What makes you the happiest? How do you articulate who you are? Whose approval are you seeking? What comfort do you treasure the most?

Sometimes we get angry at the real God because He doesn’t serve our false god.

The Bible has nothing kind to say about religion.  Religion doesn’t understand the Gospel.

Religion says, “If you obey, God will love you.” The Gospel says, “Because God loves you, you can obey.”

Religion is about what I do.  The Gospel is about what Jesus has done.  “It is finished.”

Religion is about what we get from God.  The Gospel is about getting God.

Religion sees hardship has punishment.  The Gospel recognizes there can be good fruit out of hardship and suffering.  It’s called sanctification. “Jesus was made perfect through his suffering.”

Religion is about me.  The Gospel is about Jesus.

Religion leads to a life of continual uncertainty.  The Gospel provides assurance.  Certainty.  We can approach the thrown of grace.

Religion ends up in two places which are both wicked.  It ends in pride or despair.  The Gospel ends in confidence.  It’s humble.

Jesus went to the cross and died.  And with it died idolatry and relgion. 

Is Jesus Christ your only God? Is your life lived to worship him alone?

Fact, Faith, and Experience were walking along the top of a wall.  Fact walked steadily on, turning neither to right nor left and never looking behind.  Faith followed, and all went well so long as he kept his eyes focused upon Fact; but as soon as he became concerned about Experience and turned to see how he was getting on, he lost his balance and tumbled off the wall, and poor old Experience fell down after him.

All temptation is primarily to look within; to take our eyes off the Lord and to take account of appearanaces.  Faith is always meeting a mountain, a mountain of evidence that seems to contradict God’s Word, a mountain of apparent contradiction in the realm of tangible fact-of failures in deed, as well as in the realm of feeling and suggestion-and either faith or the mountain has to go.  They cannot both stand.  But the trouble is that many a time the mountain stays and faith goes.  That must not be.  If we resort to our senses to discover truth, we shall find Satan’s lies are often enough true to our experience; but if we refuse to accept as binding anything that contradicts God’s Word and maintain an attitude of faith in Him alone, we shall find instead that Satan’s lies begin to dissolve and that our experince is coming progressively to tally with that Word.  (Watchman Nee, The Normal Christian Life, 1961, p. 59-60)

I read this a few months back when I had started my Stepping Heavenward Bible Study, and when I read it I liked it, but I didn’t gleam too much from it.  This time, however, I was asked to re-read it, and well….it hit me.  It hit me pretty hard. 

How many times, have I had a Fact all neatly wrapped up in my head and then had an Experience then lost my Faith?  Well, that’s a simple answer.  Many, many times. 

John Piper, made a statement in the sermon, “Subjected to Hope”, that when we have an Experience that is so life shaking and rocks our world, if we don’t have faith and trust in the sovereignty of God then we will lose all faith.  That we’ll shake our fists and walk away from Him.  I believe that.  I believe that to the core of my being. 

We life throws us curve balls and when all hell breaks lose, we must have faith.  Faith that Jesus can move the mountain.  Faith that Jesus is in control.  Faith that we believe in a Sovereign God.  Faith that Jesus is who He says that He is.  Faith enough to know that nothing comes to us that has not first passed through His sovereign hand.  Faith that He’s there.  He’s in the midst of the storm with us.  Walking with us.  Holding us.

A couple of years ago, Steven Curtis Chapman, a Christian singer, lost his youngest daughter to an accident in their driveway. His son was driving the car and didn’t see her and accidentally struck her. She passed away later on that day. The whole event is tragic and devestating on so many levels that it’s really hard to wrap your head around it.

This family has gone through grief and struggle and Chapman put out a new album, called Beauty Will Rise, and frankly, I think it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve heard. It’s honest. It’s raw. It’s real. Most importantly, it’s hopeful. It is the most real thing that I’ve heard in contemporary Christian music and maybe that’s why it felt like a bit of fresh air to me. He talks about his struggle and his pain, but he also talks about his hope, and well….it’s simply beautiful. I cried while I listened to it the first time. And each time since, I’ll catch myself with a little tear of comfort in my eye.

Our God is in Control
Steven Curtis Chapman

This is not how it should be
This is not how it could be
This is how it is
And our God is in control

This is not how it will be
When we finally will see
We’ll see with our own eyes
He was always in control

And we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
While we’re waiting for that day

This is not where we planned to be
When we started this journey
But this is where we are
And our God is in control

Though this first taste is bitter
There will be sweetness forever
When we finally taste and see
That our God is in control

And we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
While we’re waiting for that day

We’re waiting for that day
We’ll keep on waiting for that day
And we will rise
Our God is in control

(Holy, holy, holy) x2

Our God is in control

(Holy, holy, holy)

Our God is in control

(Holy, holy, holy)